Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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