Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
