we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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