escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize