Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
