clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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