Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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