You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Terrible idea I love it
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
