it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
