Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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