Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
