So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
