I hate your face
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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