you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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