Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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