I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
