Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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