I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
