He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Girls should come with a carfax report
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
