I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
