I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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