You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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