YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
