Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
