is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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