its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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