If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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