i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
