I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
