he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
