Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
