Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
