i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
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