if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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