Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
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You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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