k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
