i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize