I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
