Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
