Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
