what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
