I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize