i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
