My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
