I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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