So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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