I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot