I am spending my child support on dildos
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale