Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.