As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I wish you could order shots online.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.