did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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