Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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