Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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