I'm sorry my penis didn't work
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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