My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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