Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
