walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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