things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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