Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Rumble strips road head = magical
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
