Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
