great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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