Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
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The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
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I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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