There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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