one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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