i would punch a child for taco bell
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
