i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
