when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
