I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I need water and some morals
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
