My room smells like vodka and shame
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
