I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
